will you permit it?
by Garnet Dark
Summary: A look into the life of Grantaire and Enjolras. This story over views the connections of the two before and during the French revolution. it tells the story of a melancholy sceptic, and his reason for joining the revolution his Apollo. Warning E/G pairing-don't like don't read.
1. Chapter 1 In the begining

_Les Amis de l'ABC _

_Among all these passionate hearts and all these undoubting minds there was one sceptic. How did he happen to be there? The name of the sceptic was Grantaire, and he usually signed with the rebus: R (grand-R or capital R). Grantaire was a man who took great care not to believe anything. He knew the good places for everything; beyond that, boxing, tennis, some dances, and he was a knowledgeable cudgel player. (To top it off, a great drinker) He wasn't particularly ugly but Grantaire's self-esteem was not disconcerted. He stared tenderly at every woman, appearing to say about all of them: If only I wanted to; and trying to make his comrades believe that he was in general demand. Grantaire, a true satellite of Enjolras, lived in this circle of young people; he existed within it; he took pleasure only in it; he followed them everywhere. His delight was to see these forms coming and going in the haze of wine. He was tolerated for his good humour._

_Enjolras, being a believer, disdained this sceptic, and being sober, scorned this drunkard. He granted him a bit of haughty pity. Grantaire was an unaccepted Pylades. Always treated rudely by Enjolras, harshly repelled, rejected, yet returning, he said of Enjolras, "What a fine statue!" although they are described as two halves of a whole, and more or less, incomplete without each other._

**Grantaire: **Sitting in that café, in a drunken stupor I took to thinking, of only one person whom **I** admired, loved, and venerated: Enjolras. But To whom did I (the anarchical scoffer) unite myself in this phalanx of absolute minds? To the most absolute; in what manner had Enjolras subdued me? By his ideas? No. By his character; No, a sceptic (such as I) who adheres to a believer is as simple as the law of complementary colours; that that which we lack attracts us; No one loves the light like the blind man. I, in whom writhed with doubt, loved to watch faith soar in Enjolras. I had need of Enjolras. That chaste, healthy, firm, upright, hard, candid nature charmed me, without my being clearly aware of it, and without the idea of explaining it to myself having occurred to me. I admired my opposite by instinct. My soft, yielding, dislocated, sickly, shapeless ideas attached themselves to Enjolras as to a spinal column. My moral backbone leaned on that firmness; that I in the presence of Enjolras became someone once more. I was, myself, moreover, composed of two elements, which were, to all appearance, incompatible. I was ironical and cordial. My indifference loved; my mind could get along without belief, but my heart could not get along without friendship, a profound contradiction; for affection is a conviction. My nature was thus constituted. There are men who seem to be born to be the reverse, the obverse, the wrong side. I was that man-a boring, self-loathing, sceptic, at that. And Enjolras being my reverse I was bound to be besotted by him.

That leads me to the rest of the ABC group, the first, Combeferre - A philosophical student who is second to Enjolras in the group. Combeferre sees universal education as the primary means of social progress-who wouldn't be seen without Courfeyrac, his right hand man – he is the "centre" of the society, due to his strong feelings for the revolutionary cause. Courfeyrac is Marius' closest friend and helps Marius financially when he is in need. Courfeyrac is a charismatic member of the Friends of the ABC, and generally more enthusiastic than the other members of the group. And as for Enjolras - The leader of Les Amis-a charming and intimidating man with angelic beauty- he is passionately devoted to democracy, equality and justice. Enjolras is a man of principle who believes in a cause – creating a republic, liberating the poor – without any doubts. He is completely encompassed by the revolution. Enjolras claims that his mother is the republic and his mistress is Patria (motherland) even though I do think he had a secret thing for me-why would he allow me to be here if not? Jean Prouvaire - The youngest member of the group. A very well-spoken romantic, Prouvaire writes poetry and studies branches of sociology. He joined the ABC out of sympathy for the people of Paris, particularly women and children. Feuilly - A fan maker who studies the subject of revolution deeply. He is the only member of Les Amis who is not a student. Bahorel - A dandy and an idler from a peasant background, who is known well around the student cafes of Paris.

Then there is Lesgle - The oldest member of the group, Lesgle is considered to be notoriously unlucky, a theory which he assumed when he started balding aged twenty-five. Lesgle is the one who introduced Marius to the society, and saved him from expulsion from college by calling out "here" when Marius' name is read from the register in his absence. Ah, and Joly - A fine student of medicine who has unusual theories about health. He is also a hypochondriac and the happiest of the Les Amis group-apparently not me.

That leads me to Marius Pontmercy - A student who studies law and desires to become a recognized lawyer. In the very first meeting that he had with the group, he argued with Enjolras, then left the group but despite this, Marius remained on good terms with the group, especially Courfeyrac. I remember when I first was introduced to the group, in the little class room, the lecture over, I had gathered my things, in a hurry to catch up with Marius, after all, he's in my next lecture, when I spotted him shaking hands with a man, his physical beauty knocked the breath out of me and all I can do is stand and stare, Marius, then spotting me shouted me over to the group, "Grantaire! Come join us," he had shouted over the crowd. I walked over, taking in the beauty of the young man standing in front of me, he was a charming young man, capable of being terrifying.

And that's when he had me-my Apollo, my angelically beautiful Enjolras, Antonius, wild. Ah and to see the thoughtful light shining in his eyes... those deep-set blue eyes, his slightly red eyelids, the thick lower lip that could easily turn disdainful (towards me), a high forehead. He had an excessively youthful look as fresh as a young girl's. He was twenty-two but he looked seventeen. No matter how desirable he is though he never saw a woman as his equal, nor see a woman as an existing living creature. He was grave; he did not seem to know that there was on earth a creature known as 'woman' and that's where I fitted in, I was there for him, even if he didn't know it yet.

He disliked me then and there at my greeting, interrupting his heated discussion with Marius-"the revolution needs you Marius!" he had said in that silky voice of his, "begging your pardon," I had said, "what now?!" he had glared at me, looking like an avenging god, Apollo, in his wrath of being disturbed, "this is my friend, Grantaire, the one I was telling you about," Marius had said, "Grantaire, this is Enjolras," I put my hand out for a hand shake, but he looked distantly at me, "anyway," I said lowering my hand "its capital R, by the way, Grantaire's just so…it was my grandfather's name..." I had trailed off at the new look he had given me, "Am I missing something?" he replied "humm, you would say," he turned to Marius "…your right, Marius, he does have a certain charm, if that's to scare off all the ladies with the stench of wine," He laughed cruelly, I flinched and one of the boys, (who I would know as Feuilly) flung an arm around me, "ah, he's not so bad, say do you know any good jokes?" he asked I had stuttered helplessly and Enjolras said "he can barely speak, what good could we use him for if he can't do the simple things?" he muttered to Marius, my blood boiled in my veins, how dare he?! And I replied "shall I blacken your boots then? If I am good for nothing else?" that's when I was accepted into the group and it became sort of my catchphrase, so to say, and he would retort back with harsh words that I'd convince myself didn't hurt. Even though it took me a while to realise I was in love with him, I was too far out of my depth to try and distance myself. I knew I loved him because as I leaned on the wall, next to the door, staring at Enjolras rile up our little gathering, Eponine arrived next to me, she made me jump when she said "you too," and nodded to Enjolras and Marius, "what!?" I had squeaked "love," she smiled "I-I," I stuttered "don't worry, our little secret," she squeezed my hand, after that we had become sort of allies, two lost causes, so to speak.

So I sat contemplating when a shout came and disrupted my thought, "'Taire!" I despised the nickname. 'Taire. It annoyed me to no end, and if there was an inevitable end, it would reside in the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. I hated the way Combeferre and Bahorel would call my name loudly over the entire population of the Café Musain. 'Taire made me sound feminine and I had worked hard enough to gain whatever piece of a reputation I had here. I knew I didn't belong among these revolutionaries, but still I stayed. And if I were to let anyone call me by that forsaken nickname, it would be Éponine. She was probably the only person I trusted completely and also returned that trust. I rested my faith on the shoulders' of many, but none trusted me in return. It was because I was a drunkard, wasn't it? I was 'Grantaire the bitter drunkard' to them, and nothing more.

"Give me the bottle." Someone tugged on my wine bottle. "No." I feebly protested "'Taire-" ponine sighed, "No! 's mine!" I cried, pulling it closer to my chest. I looked up at Éponine, and for the first time, I knew she saw how positively dreadful I must have looked to her. Dark circled accented my eyes in an unflattering way, whilst my hair was dangerously uncombed. "Honey," she cooed, "Stand up." I swore at her, complaining whilst I complied. I stood shakily, clutching the brandy close. "Tis mine, all mine! I earned it! My money! My drink!" I glared she nodded to Marius, "How much have he had to drink?" he asked, "Give." Éponine held out an unyielding hand to me. I looked down at the bottle, then her hand, and back again. Eventually, she let out a menacing growl and I gave her my precious alcohol. "Come, let's get you home, Grantaire." Marius said

"I wanna stay 'ere!" I complained, but allowed the girl who was considerably smaller than he to steer him along with Marius in tow, She stopped by Enjolras, making apologies for their impending lack of presence, in seeing my God, I cried out "AH, FINE APOLLO!, take me into thine embrace!" wrapping my arms around his shoulders, "I'm going to take this drunkard home." I stared blearily at Enjolras, "Am not'tt!" I whined. I shot Enjolras a look, "I dunno whut she's talkin' 'bout!" Enjolras nodded. His nose crinkled in distaste at the smell of my breath, "You're beyond drunk, Grantaire. Go home and don't come back again if you're just going to drink yourself beyond mental functions." I recoiled like he had been hit, dropping my arms limply to my sides, "As you wish."

Éponine glared at Enjolras, who was looking at the me and not her, then gave me a sympathetic pat on the head, "Come on, Let's get you home." He shook his head at me "I expect to see you in a better shape at the meeting tomorrow, Grantaire," he said, I stuck out my tongue and grabbed a bottle on my way out. Enjolras' sharp eyes followed us out of the Café Musain, but he said nothing.

I kept thinking to myself today he will speak to me with kindness yet another night was spent tucked up in bed, shivering and sobbing underneath my unwashed quilt. What had made me think things would be different now? What madness had possessed me and made me do such a stupid thing? Things had been fine as they were, and now I had gone and messed it all up. Why had I done that? Why did I put myself in such situations as this? I failed! I can't rally the people like he could. Maybe Enjolras was right, maybe I wasn't good for anything. Of course, I could not blame Enjolras for his harsh rejections. Enjolras was a god, descended from the heavens, whereas I was simply a mediocre mortal, more concerned with alcohol than anarchy. I knew that I would never be loved by Enjolras, but I still resolved to always be there for him. Even in Enjolras' darkest hour, I would be there for him, even as it caused me great agony to be around his godlike stature I will be there to keep him safe.


	2. Chapter 2 Meeting at LAMARQUE'S house

GENERAL LAMARQUE'S HOUSE-IN THE STREETS

**Grantaire:** I pushed through the crowds, up to the stands, where the students were stirring up the poor, "Look down and show some mercy if you can! Look down; look down, upon your fellow man!" Courfeyrac shouted up "When's it gonna end?" a beggar shouted "When we gonna live?" Joly shouted "Something's gotta happen now!" another beggar closest to the stage shouted "Something's gotta give!" I looked up into Enjolras's face, his stormy blue eyes ablaze with passion, making them more an onyx in colour, as he stood by Marius, red coat, white shirt, black tie, blue slacks and boots; his blonde curly hair glistening in the sun, giving him a fiery halo, he was someone who anyone would follow, even to hell, to please him. I know, because I would.

We all shouted "It'll come, it'll come, it'll come... It'll come, it'll come, it'll come...!" Enjolras stands on a raised step, making an impassioned speech with Marius. Marius shouted "Only one man, General Lamarque Speaks for the people here below!" Marius looks towards Lamarque's house behind him. Enjolras shouted "Lamarque is ill and fading fast -Won't last week out, so they say." Marius shouted down "With all the anger in the land, How long before the Judgement Day?" and Enjolras interrupted "Before we cut the fat ones down to size?" then we students shouted "Before the barricades arise?" Mounted Police ride in to break up the crowd.

The crowd breaks up. The students shout to the crowd, Enjolras said "Tomorrow we will return!" Marius said "Tell everyone you know!" Courfeyrac said "We will show them!" and Combeferre said "Lamarque is the only leader on our side!" and interrupting Courfeyrac said to me "We have a right to pray for Lamarque!" but Joly said "We need more people, then the police will not dare ride against us!" Marius shouted "Vive le General Lamarque!" and we filled it in with "vive le France! Vive le France!" anger seething in our veins; well their veins, mine was filled with adoration for my Apollo, the avenging angel, rallying his people to fight for his cause, his patria-me, the filthy little pathetic mortal.

CAFE MUSAIN-afternoon.

My fingers tapped onto the smooth keys of the piano in the café- everyone was mainly asleep on the tables or well on their way, drink does that to people, but I felt terribly sober, only having one bottle of wine left for me to drink- so I took my chance to play. The music flowing freely, echoing the agony in my chest-crushing me into an oblivion of drink, melancholy and despair. Not in that particular order though. I felt myself relax and I sat on the piano bench, without disturbing the music. It lilted and changed as I thought of my Apollo, my sunshine. It was a piece of love and pain, which went on for some time before I noticed the room was too still, too silent and I abruptly ended, turning slowly into the gaze of the ABC boys, awoken from their slumber.

"Capital R! Who knew! You have feelings! You really have surprised us all, well played good man," clapped a drunken Feuilly, they gazed in awed rapture, then there was Enjolras, standing in the centre of the room, a slightly shocked expression on his face, he then said "where did this come from?" and I sneered "T'was nothing, just something someone taught me long, long ago, what? You all thought I felt for anyone cept for the drink? Guess again," I stood and walked to the bar, rummaging around for something decent to drink, Ah whisky, it will have to do. "Grantaire," Enjolras grabbed my arm, I pretended to be drunker that I really was and said "ge'off, Apollo," slurring my words, his lip curled up in distain, but he tried again, "what was that back there, all that…that pain," I flinched "where did it come from," I pulled my arm out of his grip, and snarled "what!? Surprised that I can feel more than you thought I could? What?! Are you surprised that I feel at all?!" following this statement, the students had left in small groups, some chattering, some too drunk to think. All but one, that was. Enjolras stared at me as if I had grown three heads "what has gotten into you, Grantaire?" he said softly, I had always wanted his attention like this but now I just wanted to be left alone.

I was lost, drowning, and this man… this man had become my air. After all, nobody loves the light like a blind man. Oh, what I wouldn't give to touch that light; I longed to run my fingers through golden curls to press my lips against that jawline. So stoic and strong, the very thing I admired, yet I wished to undo it all. Who would think it? A lonely drunk yearning for someone he could never have. That was the painful truth of it all. I could not have him, for he was married to Patria. His homeland was his love. Oh Apollo! Oh, but would this man-this god-could never see. I needed the drink. I clung to the bottle like a lifeline when I had nothing else, just as I clung to Enjolras. Why, I practically worshipped him. Not that it had ever gotten me anywhere. God knew I had never even come close. "Grantaire!" he was getting restless, "what!" I growled "give me the bottle!" he said, hand out "NO!" I yelled "YES!" he snatched it off me, "why are you so sad, why all the drinking, don't think I don't notice Grantaire! Please, tell me," my defeated sigh reverberated off the walls, "love," I said it with lots of different meanings, "so if you'll excuse me..." I tried to push my way past, but Enjolras said "Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes; Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears; What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet." It made me shiver, "Shakespeare, Môn sure, ever the romantic," I replied, desire flowing hot in my veins, "Do go on, Apollo. I find myself ever interested in your words, though a lack of them might be more pleasing." With a rough shove, Enjolras sent me flying backwards onto the table. Trying my hardest to regain my composure I straightened out, brushing myself off, "there you go again, why do you torment me so?" he yelled, and I lifted up my head, dignity dented I said "that's all a matter of opinion, Mon Ami, here's a little Shakespeare for you: Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." I snatched the bottle, storming out into the cold night. 'There' I thought angrily 'he knew how I felt now.' But after the anger had subsided, regret and fear took its place in the long cold night, tucked up in the little iron bed, alone again, "STUPID GRANTAIRE!" I muttered to myself, angrily wiping away a tear.


	3. Chapter 3 The Cafe Musain

CAFÉ MUSAIN

_Here a group of students are cleaning rifles and sharing their excitement at the coming revolution: _

Gathered in a secret meeting was I, Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Joly, Feuilly, Prouvaire and a few others. Enjolras turned to Courfeyrac "Well, Courfeyrac! Do we have all the guns? Joly, Prouvaire! Our time is running short!" nodding Courfeyrac turned and said "Students, workers, everyone! There's a river on the run! Like the flowing of the tide, Paris is coming to our side!" Combeferre stood "Enjolras! At Notre Dame the sections are prepared!" interrupting Feuilly said "At Rue du Bac they're straining at the leash!" nodding Enjolras said turned to me and said "Grantaire, put the bottle down! Did we get the guns we need?"

"Give me brandy on my breath and I'll breathe them all to death!" I laughed taking another swig of wine. Shaking his head Enjolras said "The time is near... So near it's stirring the blood in their veins. And yet beware! Don't let the wine go to your brains. For the army we fight is a dangerous foe with the men and the arms that we never can match. It is easy to sit here and swat them like flies But the National Guard will be harder to catch. We need a sign to rally the people to call them to arms to bring them in line!"

Joly turns to go over to Marius at the back, a faraway look on his face. "Marius, wake up! What's wrong today? You look as if you've seen a ghost today..." I interrupted "some wine, and say what's going on!" we sit. Marius said "a ghost, you say? A ghost maybe! She was like a ghost to me -One minute there - then she was gone!" I laughed "I am agog! I am aghast! Is Marius in love at last? I've never heard him Ooh and Aah." Turning to Enjolras I stood and said "You talk of battles to be won and here he comes like Don Juan! It is better than an opera!" I stood with a flourish of my arms, they burst into laughter. But Enjolras wasn't smiling. He said "It is time for us all, to decide who we are. Do we fight for the right to a night at the opera now?" he glared, and I returned to my seat "Have you asked yourselves what's the price you might pay? Is this simply a game for rich a young boy to play? The colours of the world are changing day by day- Red - the blood of angry men! Black - the dark of ages past! Red - a world about to dawn! Black - the night that ends at last!" he sang out the last words, he was always a little on the musical side, taking any chance he could to sing-although I don't complain-it really is a great voice, if it were me, I would sing all the time, every day.

Marius said to Enjolras "Had you seen her today, you might know how it feels, to be struck to the bone by a moment of breathless delight! Had you been there today you might also have known how the world may be changed in just one burst of light, and what was right seems wrong and what was wrong seems right!" I shouted "Red!" he said "I feel my soul on fire!" I shouted "Black!" he retorted with "My world if she's not there!" then the other students said "Red!" "It's the colour of desire!" "Black!" "It's the colour of despair!" shaking his head Enjolras said "Marius, you're no longer a child - I do not doubt you mean it well, but now there is a higher call! Who cares about your lonely soul? We strive towards a larger goal - Our little lives don't count at all! Red!" we shouted "The blood of angry men!" "Black! The dark of ages past! Red - a world about to dawn! Black - the night that ends at last!"

There was a scuffle at the door - Gavroche struggling with the barman. Courfeyrac lets him through. It must have been serious because Courfeyrac said "Listen, everybody!" and the boy said "General Lamarque is dead!" Enjolras turns to his companions. "Lamarque... His death is the hour of fate. The people's man... His death is the sign we await! On his funeral day they will honour his name with the light of rebellion ablaze in their eyes. From their candles of grief we will kindle our flame. On the tomb of Lamarque shall our barricades rise! The time is here! Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer!" we shouted "Let us take to the street with no doubt in our hearts!" and Courfeyrac said "But a jubilant shout!" and Esgles shouted "They will come one and all!" we all shouted "They will come when we call!"

Enjolras and the students have a production line under way for making bullets. The rifles are now stacked and ready for the uprising. Madame Hucheloup the proprietress of the Cafe Musain is sewing a red revolutionary flag to help the students. Enjolras said "one more day before the storm! At the barricades of freedom! When our ranks begin to form - (from top of stairs, for my benefit) Will you take your place with me?" and while grinning but rather reluctantly I went upstairs.

"The time is now! The day is here! One more day!" The drinkers in the bar raise their glasses to the students with their rifles. The students appeal to them. I was drunk already. Joly starts to melt the tankards in a pot to make more bullets. The citizens on the ground floor join the students. They all shouted, drunkenly "One day to a new beginning! Raise the flag of freedom high! Every man will be a king! Every man will be a king! There's a new world for the winning! There's a new world to be won! Do you hear the people sing?" Turning back to the discussion in front of me I took a swig of the wine "…Today is Wednesday. Feuilly, you will see those of the Glaciere, will you not? Combeferre has promised me to go to Picpus. There is a perfect swarm and an excellent one there. Bahorel will visit the Estrapade. Prouvaire, the masons are growing lukewarm; you will bring us news from the lodge of the Rue de Grenelle-Saint-Honore. Joly will go to Dupuytren's clinical lecture, and feel the pulse of the medical school. Bossuet will take a little turn in the court and talk with the young law licentiates. I will take charge of the Cougourde myself."

"That arranges everything," said Courfeyrac. "No." he replied "What else is there?" Courfeyrac asked "A very important thing." Enjolras looked about the table "What is that?" asked Courfeyrac. "The Barriere du Maine," replied Enjolras. Enjolras remained for a moment as though absorbed in reflection, then he resumed "At the Barriere du Maine there are marble-workers, painters, and journeymen in the studios of sculptors. They are an enthusiastic family, but liable to cool off. I don't know what has been the matter with them for some time past. They are thinking of something else. They are becoming extinguished. They pass their time playing dominoes. There is urgent need that someone should go and talk with them a little, but with firmness. They meet at Richefeu's. They are to be found there between twelve and one o'clock. Those ashes must be fanned into a glow. For that errand I had counted on that abstracted Marius, who is a good fellow on the whole, but he no longer comes to us. I need someone for the Barriere du Maine. I have no one." I smirked (young love) then in idea hit me "What about me?" said I "Here am I." they all turned to look at me "You?" I smiled "I." they all laughed "You! indoctrinate republicans! You! warm up hearts that have grown cold in the name of principle!" Enjolras shook his head "Why not?" I stuck up my chin defiantly showing I wasn't hurt-as good as a job as I could-"Are you good for anything?" (ouch! That stung) "I have a vague ambition in that direction," I said "You do not believe in everything." I was fine…totally fine…"I believe in you." I muttered-if only he knew "Grantaire will you do me a service?" he asked "Anything. I'll black your boots." I said grinning.

"Well, don't meddle with our affairs. Sleep yourself sober from your absinthe." Every word he said was a dagger in my chest. "You are an ingrate, Enjolras!" I snapped "You! the man to go to the Barriere du Maine! You! Capable of it!"

"I am capable of descending the Rue de Gres, of crossing the Place Saint-Michel, of sloping through the Rue Monsieur-le-Prince, of taking the Rue de Vaugirard, of passing the Carmelites, of turning into the Rue d'Assas, of reaching the Rue du Cherche-Midi, of leaving behind me the Conseil de Guerre, of pacing the Rue des Vielles Tuileries, of striding across the boulevard, of following the Chaussee du Maine, of passing the barrier, and entering Richefeu's. I am capable of that. My shoes are capable of that." I banged my fist on the table to show my point, the others had gotten up by now, and were taking this discussion to use as their queue to take leave.

"Do you know anything of those comrades who meet at Richefeu's?" he asked me "Not much. We only address each other as you." I shrugged "What will you say to them?" he asked "I will speak to them of Robespierre, pardi! Of Danton. Of principles." I stuttered "You?" he looked at me doubtful "I. But I don't receive justice. When I set about it, I am terrible. I have read Prudhomme, I know the Social Contract, I know my constitution of the year two by heart. `The liberty of one citizen ends where the liberty of another citizen begins.' Do you take me for a brute? I have an old bank-bill of the Republic in my drawer. The Rights of Man, the sovereignty of the people, sapristi! I am even a bit of a Hebertist. I can talk the most superb twaddle for six hours by the clock, watch in hand." I grinned-he wouldn't notice the flirting, he never did, "Be serious," said Enjolras.

"I am wild," I replied. Enjolras meditated for a few moments, and made the gesture of a man who has taken a resolution. The closeness of his body made me shiver "Grantaire," he said gravely, "I consent to try you. You shall go to the Barriere du Maine." I lived in furnished lodgings very near the Cafe Musain and I went out, five minutes later I returned. I had gone home to put on a Robespierre waistcoat. "Red," I said as I entered, and I looked intently at Enjolras 'this was it! I will show him what I was capable of!' Then, with the palm of my energetic hand, I laid the two scarlet points of the waistcoat across my breast.

And stepping up to Enjolras, I whispered in his ear, shivering at the closeness of the contact "Be easy." I want to kiss him, so I jammed my red hat on resolutely and departed, swallowing the wanting and pain that had formed in my throat. Coming down the stairs I saw Marius as he entered the first floor to join us at last. Marius enters the ground floor and takes the red flag from Madame Hucheloup that she has just finished raising it he shouted: "My place is here! I fight with you!" they all cheered and I raised my hat to him.


	4. Chapter 4 disapoinment

_Those members of the Cougourde of Aix who were in Paris then met on the plain of Issy, in one of the abandoned quarries which are so numerous in that side of Paris._

**Enjolras:** As Enjolras walked towards this place, he passed the whole situation in review in his own mind. The gravity of events was self-evident. When facts, the predictive symptoms of the suppressed social disorder, move heavily, the slightest complication stops and entangles them. Enjolras descried a luminous uplifting beneath the gloomy skirts of the future. Who knows? Perhaps the moment was at hand.

The people were again taking possession of right, and what a fine spectacle! The revolution was again majestically taking possession of France and saying to the world: "The sequel to-morrow!" Enjolras was content. The furnace was being heated. He had at that moment a powder train of friends scattered all over Paris. He composed, in his own mind, with Combeferre's philosophical and penetrating eloquence, Feuilly's cosmopolitan enthusiasm, Courfeyrac's dash, Bahorel's smile, Jean Prouvaire's melancholy, Joly's science, Bossuet's sarcasms, a sort of electric spark which took fire nearly everywhere at once. All hands to work. Surely, the result would answer to the effort. This was well. This made him think of Grantaire.

"Hold," said he to himself, "the Barriere du Maine will not take me far out of my way. What if I were to go on as far as Richefeu's? Let us have a look at what Grantaire is about, and see how he is getting on." One o'clock was striking from the Vaugirard steeple when Enjolras reached the Richefeu's smoking-room. He pushed open the door, entered, folded his arms, letting the door fall to and strike his shoulder, and gazed at that room filled with tables, men, and smoke. A voice broke forth from the mist of smoke, interrupted by another voice. It was Grantaire holding a conversation with an adversary…

**Grantaire:** I was sitting opposite another figure, at a marble Saint-Anne table, strewn with grains of bran and dotted with dominos. I was hammering the table with my fist, _and this is what Enjolras heard: _"Double-six." I shouted "Fours." Said the adversary "The pig! I have no more." He shouted to his friends "You are dead. A two." I said triumphantly "Six." "Three." "One." "It's my move." I said "Four points." While grinning "Not much." Then I said "It's your turn." Shaking his head the man had said "I have made an enormous mistake." Grinning I said "You are doing well." Looking at the domino he said "Fifteen." Nearly there "Seven more." He scratched his head "That makes me twenty-two." (Thoughtfully, "Twenty-two!")

"You weren't expecting that double-six. If I had placed it at the beginning, the whole play would have been changed." I said "A two again." He looked down "One." Laughing out loud "One! Well, five." He looked up startled "I haven't any." I smirked "It was your play, I believe?" he scowled "Yes." Father taught me young to play dominos I felt almost sorry for him…not "Blank." I said "What luck he has! Ah! You are lucky! …Two." He placed it down "One." I said "Neither five nor one. That's bad for you." Grinning I said "Domino." Laughing he said "Plague take it!" my plan was working excellently… yep, this was my plan all along, I mean gain the men by getting into a game of dominos and then when they are all good and drunk, get them to join us! What genius I am-to anyone's observation it looked as if I was just whittling away the hours playing dominos, but in fact, I was getting the adversary's all drunk then my words should sound like Enjolras, they would join us, as always no man could drink me under the table, I'd still be more than sober when these got drunk. Not long now, I'll show them all… where did they go? I peered blearily around the room, dam it! They've gone! What do I tell everyone? Dam! Stupid drunken Grantaire!

**Enjolras:** I shouldn't be disappointed by now, yet there it was, thick in my chest, he failed me yet again, like always yet there was the surprise that he had done it despite the heated words he had said, the way his eyes lit up with burning fire, so like mine looked in a heated discussion. I shouldn't trust him with politics when all he could think of was drink, it was my fault, I should have known better, should have expected this outcome. I turned my back on the scene and shook my head, keeping out the image of Rudy cheeks, thick lips and tangled hair, why did he affect me so in this manner, to want to touch that skin, to feel those divine lips to mine own, to feel the stubbled chin…oh Grantaire, I am so disappointed yet you come off far better than I did, still smelling of roses. Capital R indeed. I walked briskly into the night.


	5. Chapter 5 day before the barricade

CAFE MUSAIN-day before the barricade.

**Grantaire:** The bistro was empty; Fricassee, recognizing Joly and Laigle, put a bottle of wine on the table. As they were at their first oysters, I peeped my head around the hatchway of the stairs, and said, "I was passing. In the street I smelled a delicious odour of Brie. I have come in." in seeing me, Fricassee put two bottles of wine on the table. That made three. "Are you going to drink those two bottles?" Laigle asked me. I answered, "Everyone is ingenious; you alone are ingenuous. Two bottles never sank a man." The others had begun by eating. I began by drinking. A half bottle was quickly downed. "Do you have a hole in your stomach?" resumed Laigle. "You've surely got one in your elbow," I said laughing. And, after emptying my glass, I added, "Ah, now, Laigle of funeral orations, your coat is old." I indicated to the wrinkled old coat hanging from the back of his chair.

"I hope so," replied Laigle. "That makes us get along well, my coat and I. It has adopted all of my wrinkles, it doesn't bind me anywhere, it has adapted to all of my deformities, it is complaisant to all my motions; I feel it only because it keeps me warm. Old coats are the same as old friends." He gulped at his bottle "That's true!" exclaimed Joly, joining in the dialogue, "an old _habit_ is like an old _alibi," _grinning I said"Particularly," taking a moment to have a swig of wine, "in the mouth of a man with a cold id his doze."(We chatted for a little bit, and then I launched into one of my most heated discussions. At one point my rambling was interrupted by a street kid coming in. The kid, Navet, was sent by Enjolras to tell Bossuet (a.k.a. Laigle) that the uprising was a Go. Navet left after some point but I really was drunk than ever. And Bossuet, Joly and I... decide to stay in the bistro because it's raining outside and they-I included- can't be bothered to move.) I held out my glass to Joly, who filled it again, and then I drank and preceded, almost without interruption by this glass of wine which nobody noticed, not even myself. (After a lot of chatting and drinking-mostly on my point-it was soon night and I was drunk out of my mind.)

The room was dark, great clouds were capping off the suppression of the daylight. There was nobody in the bistro, nor in the street, everybody having gone 'to see the events.' "It is noon or midnight?" cried Bossuet. "We can't see a speck. Fricassee, a light if you please." I, melancholy, was drinking as always. "Enjolras despises me," I murmured. "Enjolras said: Joly's sick, Grantaire's drunk. It was to Bossuet that he sent Navet. If he'd come for me I'd have followed him. So much the worse for Enjolras! I won't go to his funeral."

(The night went on for a while yet-I think I may have chatted up the barmaid or someone at some point-until Enjolras came in. It went something like this I think:

_I was not yet to this dreary phase I was now; far from it. I was extravagantly gay, and Bossuet and Joly kept pace with me. We clinked glasses. To the eccentric emphasis of my words and idea I added incoherency of gesture; I rested my left wrist on my knee with dignity, my elbow at a right angel, and my tie untied, astride a stool, my full glass in my right hand, and I threw out to the fat servant Chowder these solemn words: "Let the palace doors be opeened! Let everybody belong to the Académie Française and have the right to embrace Madame Hucheloup! Let's drink."_

_And turning toward Ma'am Hucheloup I added, "Antique woman, consecrated by use, approach that I may gaze upon thee!" And Joly exclaimed, "Chowder and Fricassée, don't give Grantaire any more to drink. He spends his money foolishly. Since this morning he's already devoured I'd desperate prodigality two fragcs didety-five cedtibes." And I replied, "Who's been unhooking the stars without my permission to put them on the table in the shape of candles?" then I burped loudly._

The rest of Les Amis show up and the boys take over the wine shop and begin building the barricade there on the advice of Bossuet, who is dead drunk by this point in time.

"Be still, wine cask!" said Courfeyrac. I answered, "I am Capitoul and Master of Floral Games!" Enjolras, who was standing on the crest of the barricade, musket in hand, raised his fine austere face. Enjolras, we know, had something of the Spartan and the Puritan. He would have died at Thermopylae with Leonidas, and would have burned Drogheda with Cromwell. He did not like me (who didn't really believe in anything and wouldn't die for nothing if not the wine!) and after seeing me in my drunken state shouted at me: "Grantaire," he cried, "go sleep it off somewhere else. This is the place for revolution, not drunkenness. Don't dishonour the barricade!" This angry speech produced a singular effect on me. It was as though I had received a glass of cold water in the face. I suddenly appeared sober. I sat down, leaned on a table near the window, looked at Enjolras with an inexpressible gentleness, and said to him, "Let me sleep here."

"Go sleep somewhere else," cried Enjolras. But I, keeping my tender, troubled eyes fixed on him answered, "Let me sleep here - until I die here." Enjolras stared at me disdainfully. "Grantaire, you're incapable of belief, of thought, of will, of life, and of death." He sneered but I had replied gravely, "You'll see." Feeling the pain of these words slice through me and after stammering out a few more unintelligible words, my head fell heavily on the table, and, a common effect of the second stage of inebriety into which Enjolras had rudely and suddenly pushed me, a moment later I was asleep.

**Enjolras:** glaring I shouted: "Grantaire," I cried, "go sleep it off somewhere else. This is the place for revolution, not drunkenness. Don't dishonour the barricade!" This angry speech produced a singular effect on the wine cask. It was as though he had received a glass of cold water in the face and suddenly he appeared sober. He sat down, leaned on a table near the window, looked at me with an inexpressible gentleness, and said to me, "Let me sleep here." Oh god! His dark eyes peered at me through thick lashes, I hid my trembling hand.

"Go sleep somewhere else," I cried, swallowing down the need to…. but Grantaire, keeping those tender, troubled eyes fixed on myself answered, "Let me sleep here - until I die here." I gave him my most disdainful look and said "Grantaire, you're incapable of belief, of thought, of will, of life, and of death." but he had replied gravely, "You'll see." and after stammering out a few more unintelligible words, his head fell heavily on the table, and, a common effect of the second stage of inebriety into which he had put himself in, a moment later he was asleep, snoring softly. Sighing I put down my musket, Jolly was laughing at Grantaire, giving him a vicious poke in the back, Grantaire just swatted the air ineffectively, mumbling something at him in his slumber, arm curled round the bottle. "Naw, look at the little wine cask! Ha! What a pretty specimen in his sleep! Quick! Someone should put a handkerchief over his face so as not to frighten away the ladies," I glared at Feuilly and his laugh caught in his throat, I turned the glare to the others, and then returned to my work for a while, concentrating hard on the maps, when they started to mutter again. "Capital R?" they gave a muted chuckle, "what's he saying?" said Combeferre, "can't hear," said Courfeyrac, then Grantaire mumbled something "Apol," it sounded like, "what was that….Apple?" then Feuilly giggled "I think he's dreaming about you Enjolras," I turned to see them gathered around the table, chortling at the drunkard, "leave him be," I warned, he shrugged at me and went back to his observation.

I did not understand why they called him ugly, he just wasn't, to me he was like a dark angel, thick curls, an aristocrat air about him, pale white skin, black stubble cropped at the chin, his face in perfect symmetry, his plump lips…I've always wanted to see the exact colour of his eyes but I was freighted to get too close for fear of…yeah. He was slim, his hands wide-a piano payers hands, but I'd yet to see him play- those long legs…stop! Stop fanaticising! "…look at that nose! God you could hang your coat off it!" they snickered, "he's too pale, that's the problem, a girl won't be interested if you had less colour than a piece of paper," a barked laugh, "yeah, hey, you know what?" said Combeferre "what?" I could hear the grin as he said "you know, maybe he's like ... a Vampire," he paused for effect, "get real!" Feuilly shouted, I snorted "oh, har-har," someone said "he could be!" he protested, then they all went quiet at the sound of a muffled keening, I turned round, they stared down at Grantaire, the red flush had gone from his face, it looked a little waxy, like a sheen of sweat covered his forehead, his fists were opening and closing in his now fitful sleep, the look on his face was one that was of undiluted fear, he moaned and the bottle fell to the floor, his hands clutched at the air in front of him now, he shivered, saying a soft "no!" fear laced with pain in his velvet voice, "please!" he begged to an invisible being, "should someone wake him?" said Courfeyrac "bad idea, my ma said you could die being woken from a nightmare," said Prouvaire "that's sleep walking idiot!" Courfeyrac said.

Not taking my eyes off Grantaire I walked over, "it's a nightmare," I said, "I'm going to try and wake him…Grantaire? Wake up, Grantaire?" I shook his shoulder, nothing, no response except for that his hand gripped onto my wrist, with surprising strength, I kneeled down, "Grantaire!?" I said again, annoyance creeping into my voice, my hand on his shoulder, a strange garbled sound came out of his throat and it made all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up, although I didn't know why. He gripped tighter onto my arm, his breathing coming in rapid recession; I decided to take him into my room, away from prying eyes of the rest of the ABC group, I pulled him into a seating position first and when he did not stir I lifted him into my arms, he wasn't really that heavy, too light for comfort, was he eating properly? I swallowed; don't think of…yeah, gritting my teeth, even now I felt it, stirring in my veins. Ignoring the comments of the group, I took him up the stairs and into my room.

His thin body shook, his hands tight on my lapels, oh wine cask! What am I to do? All the drinking was…it did things to me, unusual feelings inside me; I didn't like seeing him in that state. This was the fourth time now I have had to take him to my room, it's getting worse, he gets himself in such a state that I cannot walk him home. I placed him onto the bed, and prized off his fingers, wrinkling my shirt. His hands two clenched fists, his face screwed up, he was really scared, but until I could wake him, there was nothing I could do. I took off his shoes, and on a whim, his socks too. He has perfectly sculpted feet, I observe, and I place them under the sheets, he mumbles something, I don't hear it. I pull him into a sitting position, then proceed to unbutton his grey waistcoat. I pull it off him, his body is floppy and it is difficult, when I am getting the other side of his waistcoat off him, he shivered, and I distinctively hear, "no…father, please," and the tone of his voice chills me to the bones and ice encases my chest.

I place him down onto the bed, what is he dreaming about? Why is he so scared? Rolling over he gives out a garbled moan. I place his waistcoat on the end of the bed and pull up a chair. Morbid curiosity had me watching the slumbering man. He rolled over so that he faced me. His thick curls stuck up everywhere as usual, I had to admit I liked watching him sleep, his face was washed of all expression, and he looked…how do I put it? Vulnerable; his eyelashes rested on his face, his lips parted, I shook with unwelcome desire. I wanted to kiss those lips, to feel his skin give under my hands, to…think of patria, think of patria, think of patria! I swallowed hard; why do I have these feelings? I remember the first time I saw him, I was trying to get Marius to join the Amis again, and he isn't really listening, he looks about the room, after spotting someone he knew his face lit up, "Grantaire! Come join us," he had shouted over the crowd. "The revolution needs you Marius!" I had said when a little voice said "begging your pardon," I turned my head and glared "what now?!" but I was rendered speechless from the beauty in front of me: black unruly curls, big dark eyes, his face structure that of an aristocrat, he fidgeted and licked his lower lip…what it did to me then.

"This is my friend, Grantaire, the one I was telling you about," Marius had said, "Grantaire, this is Enjolras," he put his hand out for a hand shake, but I looked distantly at the man, who was he to make me feel like this? When the revolution was the most important thing in my life, and at that moment, it had angered me to feel this way about another man, I was not attracted to men, I liked women didn't I? "Anyway," he said lowering his hand "its capital R, by the way, Grantaire's just so…it was my grandfather's name..." he had trailed off at the new look I had given him, "Am I missing something?" he replied, having I light bulb moment I said "humm, you would say," and turned to Marius, this was the man Marius mentioned, the passion filled man that could help with our revolutionary? "…your right, Marius, he does have a certain charm, if that's to scare off all the ladies with the stench of wine," I laughed knowing I was being cruel, he flinched and Feuilly flung an arm around him, jealousy ripped through me and I had to clench my hands to my sides, I wanted to touch him not you! "ah, he's not so bad, say do you know any good jokes?" he asked he had stuttered helplessly and I said out of anger and jealousy "he can barely speak, what good could we use him for

**Grantaire:** I woke the next morning a massive head ache, disorientatedly in a bed. Definitely not my own…I sat up groggily, hand on head, still clothed although my waist coat was hanging of the rail of the bed, my shoes on the floor. What? Where was I? How did I get here? Did I get myself here? No matter, it was late morning and I was in need of food…and other things. I stumbled out of bed, pulled on my shoes, adorned my waist coat, and made my way down the stairs-I was in the Café still. I heard the laughter of all the students-Joly, Enjolras, Marius, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Joly, Feuilly, Prouvaire and a few others. I knew in an instant who he was talking about. "Grantaire is a fool, he's good for nothing if not for his jokes, but I would rather he took himself off somewhere else," said Enjolras I stopped at the top of the stairs, ouch, "now don't be too hard on him, he's trying, and his jokes and lectures while away the time nicely," said Joly, is that all they thought about me? just me and my jokes? "..but what's a sceptic such as himself doing here, why pretend to be interested in anything at all if he was such inclined to drink the days away?" mused Enjolras "well why humour him then? If you distain him so much?" asked Courfeyrac, "that, my man is a good question, why?" they laughed together; pretending his words didn't hurt me and, thinking the discussion was over, I headed down the stairs only to stop at the bottom, my hand white knuckled as I gripped the banister, at what I heard here after: "I think he's infatuated with you," said Courfeyrac said "shut it," said Enjolras "he looves you, Enjolras, have you seen the way he looks at you, like an adoring little puppy, mind you don't tell him that it was you who put him to bed, carried like a wee babe, in the dead of night, probably give him a little thrill thinking about it," laughed Joly, _(so it was he, whom had put me to bed!)_ fear and anger hit me like lightning in a storm cloud. I was completely frozen in place, "I said shut it, Joly, don't you have anything better to do than spread idle gossip when there are more pressing issues at hand?" Enjolras as always bringing us back to what is important but it was too late for the group had turned and was looking at me, stuck there, paralysed, my mouth agape "what?" said Enjolras he then turned to where the group-sat round a table-were looking-at me. His eyes widened "Grantaire," he took a step forward, I held my hand palm up in a 'just don't' manner, I stiffly walked over to the bar, took a bottle of wine, pulled off the cork, downing half the bottle, before taking another, and headed back upstairs; Feeling their eyes burning in the back of my head all the way up. Once I returned to the room I shut the door, and slid down its surface onto the floor. Tears slid hot and wet down my face, as I sobbed out the hurt and fear, bottles of wine forgotten about at this time being. 'He didn't mean it' kept swirling around my head.

I bow my head, my fingers tight around the neck of the glass, and Enjolras can't see my face anymore. One of my favourite methods when it comes to punishing Enjolras is to drink myself to oblivion but even at my drunkest I had never been this erratic in my actions, usually containing myself to a running sarcastic commentary which is calculated to make Enjolras' blood boil. I'm good at that, infuriating Enjolras—so good it could be a skill, an example of how, even when I am out of my mind, I am still intelligent. Cupid is a sadistic, if he finds is amusing to tear people up like this inside. And anyway life went on-a new day and all that, it was forgotten by nightfall by the students but I would never forget. A knock is sounded at the door but I ignore it, "Grantaire!" Marius shouts "go away!" I yell, "capital R!" shouts Courfeyrac "I said go away! Leave me alone!" and that is what they did. That is what they always did.

**Enjolras:** God dam that Grantaire for making me want him so bad! I wanted to press my lips onto his as he lay, sleeping softly, lips parted slightly, dark hair wild, as if he kept running his hands through it all day, his pale complexion exposing the blue veins under the soft skin, his black eyelashes resting on the cheek that way, like a sleeping angle, fallen from gods side. And I'd hurt him yet again, now as he stumbled up the stairs slamming the door. I followed almost immediately, with Marius behind me, followed by a few of the others. Inside came a soft keening noise, and the clink of a bottle, I recoiled. Retreating down the stairs before I knocked the door in to comfort him. no I could not show my feelings, my revolution needs me, my patria needs me. I shut myself away too, inside my room where I cried silent tears of shame.


	6. Chapter 6 Lamarque's funeral

**Grantaire:** All was still, and then came the soft beating of draped drums. The tramp of feet, all down the streets, waiting, the silent faces of the poor. Among them were Enjolras, myself, Marius, and the rest of the radical students. Police and national guardsmen control the growing crowds. Now into view come the leaders of a great funeral procession. An entire battalion of infantry, marching with weapons reversed. A column of black-suited dignitaries carrying branches of laurel. A division of Cavalry rides in front, behind a section of military drummers who drum a military tattoo.

A team of black horses stepping slowly, black plumes nodding, drawing behind hem a gun carriage draped in the tricolour flag. On the carriage stands the coffin of General Lamarque. Softly, in time with the drums, the watching people begin to sing.

Enjolras "Do you hear the people sing. Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people. Who will not be slaves again!" The police and guardsmen look round to see who is singing so subversively, but they can't be sure where it's coming from. The singing grows stronger. We joined in "when the beating of your heart. Echoes the beating of the drums. There is a life about to start. When tomorrow comes!"

The dignitaries become aware of the singing, and glance uneasily from side to side. "Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? Beyond the barricade. Is there a world you long to see?" As the coffin on its carriage draws level with the students, Enjolras suddenly steps out in front of the horses drawing the carriage and waves the red flag, stopping the horses and the procession. "Then join in the fight. That will give you the right. To be free!" he sang, a beautiful voice, lilting and strong at the same time.

The students and I in my red cap, break the ranks of the crowd and surround the coffin carriage. "Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people. Who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart. Echoes the beating of the drums there is a life about to start When tomorrow comes!" Enjolras, Marius, myself and Courfeyrac and other students climb onto the top of the carriage as the horses and led by Combeferre. "Will you give all you can give So that our banner may advance?" Enjolras sang, "Some will fall and some will live Will you stand up and take your chance?" Courfeyrac sang "The blood of the martyrs will water the meadows of France!" The crowd supports us and surround the coffin carriage, blocking the attempts of the police to intervene, singing with passion.

"Do you hear the people sing, Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people, who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart Echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start When tomorrow comes!" Enjolras, I, the students, and the impassioned crowd have now became the procession. They turn off the main street away from the expected course of the funeral procession. Gavroche's elephant looms over this side street. Gavroche and his gang jump down from the elephant to join in-a little cheeky chap. As the procession turns off, the Calvary division gallop ahead and disappear round a corner. I make my way back to the Café, I'll surely make it back with more time to spare before it has begun properly. I slip silently away, the sound of the angry men fading away the further I went.

"Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me? Somewhere beyond the barricade, is there a world you long to see? Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart, Echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes!"

_The students and crowd come face to face with the Calvary. On one side, muskets of the infantry poke through the broken down fence surrounding the elephant. Other infantry have taken up position in a cafe opposite, upending tables to provide cover. There is a tense, prolonged silence. Then suddenly one nervous soldier lets off a round. It hits a middle aged kindly looking woman citizen in the crowd around the coffin carriage. The crowd is furious. Joly and Courfeyrac charge the soldier, grab his musket and knock him down with the hilt of the gun. More shots ring out. _

_The cavalry charges; the funeral explodes into a riot. The people of Paris turn on the dragoons, the National Guards, the police. More squadrons of dragoons charge into the crowd, sabres unsheathed. Women run screaming in terror. Enjolras shouts "To the barricades! To the barricades! To arms! To arms!" _

_Some students fire weapons into the air, some into the cavalry and at the infantry. Enjolras knocks a cavalry officer off his horse and Marius jumps on the horse. The students break away and race off through the cafe into a side street where citizens begin to erect a barricade. A cavalry rider gives chase and is shot by one of the students and falls through the window of an upended carriage. The students, with Marius on horseback, race to the slums. _


	7. Chapter 7 Building the Barricade

Grantaire 3 Enjolras

RUE DE LA CHANVRERIE/INT. CAFE MUSAIN - DAY

_They raid a fencing shop and a gun shop for weapons, they force wives to give up their husbands' muskets and chalk up the debt to the revolution on their front doors, and they encourage homeowners to contribute furniture sometimes appearing at high windows to help overcome any reluctance. Soon the street is raining tables, chairs, mattresses, sofas. They smash streetlamps. They set to work to build their barricade. Students commandeer an omnibus which is overturned to form the barricade's heart. Three students arrive in the street hauling an uprooted tree. Doors from house and shop-fronts, pull down buttresses, and raid the Cafe Musain, systematically stripping it of every item of furniture despite the lamentations and protestations of Madame Hucheloup and her barmaid. As the barricade rises they bring down from the first floor of the cafe the rifles and ammunition they've gathered, to prepare to defend their chosen ground. A student stands on a stone post distributing weapons. They line the first and second floor front rooms with paving stones to create protected shooting positions. The inside of the barricade is built neatly with steps up made from paving stones. The outside is a crazy knarled mess._

**Grantaire:** I got back from the funeral to the café in time to make sure that all was well and as it should be, still not worried I had been spotted by Enjolras, I was to sit and wait for the men to come back before the funeral, keeping it safe but I wanted to go and it was here that, sitting on a chair, the old woman sitting on my knee trying to kiss me-I was trying to let her down gently but it was getting my nowhere, Enjolras had told me not to give them money, they'd try to give me something in return but I was and always will be a gentleman and I cannot bare to see people suffer. There were shouts and yells coming towards the tavern and Enjolras shouted "Grantaire get off your arse it's begun!" he shouted "We need as much furniture as you can throw down!" Courfeyrac shouted over the sounds of chaos. "We need everything you have!" shouted Enjolras shouted up, I did as I was told. They tossed what they could out of the windows on the second-storey buildings; I even kissed an old woman for her chair "NO!" she had shouted "thank you madam!" I had shouted to her after I had kissed her "hey! Hey! What you doing!" I said "sorry old girl but it has to be done!" But I knew it wouldn't be enough. We were doomed from the start. Looking at Enjolras, I could tell he knew it in his heart as well, but strange isn't it what you'd do for love? After we had the barricade good and high we all stood around the barricade, silent. No one dared to speak. I could hear footsteps from the other side of the buildings that made up the avenue, and I had a pretty strong feeling the opposers were coming, the thumping of my chest told me so. Enjolras shouted "we'll need someone to scout out the enemy's army. Find out how many and how they plan to attack." What appears to be a poor man steps forward he said "I can find out the truth. I know their ways. Fought their wars, served my time, in the days of my youth," Enjolras grinned down at him, "see the people Unite!" "I pray your right," I said, not trusting this man "dogs will bark," someone said "fleas will bite!" shouted our little Gavroche "He will do what is right!" Enjolras leaves. The man raises his hat slightly so that his face is clearer. "Thank you." He said softly. "Red, the blood of angry men! Black, the dark of ages past! Red, a world about to dawn! Black, the night that ends at last!" We were to wait for his return.

"He's back!" Joly shouted. We returned to the crowd to see the spy. "What have you to say?" Enjolras asked our spy "Listen my friends; I have done what I said. I have been to their lines, I have counted each men, I will tell what I can. Better beware, they have armies to spare, and the danger is real, we will need all our cunning, to bring them to heel." He shouted up to us Enjolras shouted "have faith, if you know what their movements are we'll spoil their game, there are ways that that people can fight, we shall overcome their power," he nodded to let him into the barricade, "I have over heard their plans, there will be no attack tonight, they intend to starve us out, before they plan a proper fight. They'll concentrate their force and hit us when it's light." Gavroche shouted "LIAR! Good evenin' dear Inspectah! Lovely evenin', my dear" we grabbed a hold of the "I know this man, my friends, his name is inspectah Javert, so don't believe a word he said, cause none of its true, it only comes to show what little people can do," Enjolras' eyes blazed. Javert attempted an escape, but Combferre and I restrained him before he could get away. "Bravo, little Gavroche! Top of the class," Courfeyrac commended the boy; Gavroche grabs my red cap and puts it on his own head, mimicking the students. "What are we gonna do with this snake in the grass?" Jehan asked his voice harsh.

"Tie him up. Take him to the tavern and there, the people will decide your fate, inspector Javert." He turned away, but Javert spoke up "Shoot me now, or shoot me later, every school boy to his sport! Death to each and every traitor, I renounce you people's court!" he spat at Enjolras and Javert pulled against us. "We keep looking forward!" Enjolras shouted to the men. "Take him! There is WORK we have to do!" Enjolras proclaimed. Combeferre and I did as our leader instructed. Inside the tavern, Javert pulled out of our weak grasps and pushed me over into the wall, punching my face, and punching Combeferre running to grab a stick from behind a cabinet, he hit Combeferre then he hit me in the face again, knocking me down. Enjolras grabbed the stick off him and whacked him in the head, knocking him unconscious.

"Now we pledge ourselves to hold this barricade, Let them come in their legions, and they will be met," we shouted and then Enjolras shouted "have faith in yourselves, and don't be afraid," I shouted " Let's give 'em a screwing, that they'll never forget!" and the students shouted "this is where it begins!, And if I should die in the fight to be free, Where the fighting is hardest, There will I be, Let them come if they dare, We'll be there!" Enjolras shouted "Feuilly, make sure all the guns are fully loaded! Lesgles, take watch. Give us warning for when the army comes. Joly, see how well we fare on supplies." I stood around feeling somewhat useless "What should I do?" I asked and Courfeyrac (somewhat jokingly) said "Stay sober!" I tried not to look hurt and their laughter at this was interrupted by Lesgles "Enjolras, the National Guard is approaching!" The students suddenly tense. They grab their guns, preparing for a fight, Enjolras cursed under his breath "Damn. They moved faster than I thought they would."

At first there was silence. Suddenly, out of the darkness, the students and citizens at the barricade here an ominous distant sound. There was the sound of marching feet, hundreds of men, marching in unison. First soft, then building louder and louder, closer and closer; Boots on cobbles. The sound comes right into the end of the street. We peer over the barricade. In the pitch blackness, all I can make out is hundreds of gossamer thin slivers. These are the bayonets and musket barrels dimly lit by the reflection from the torch. A voice shouts out from the darkness. "Who's there?" At the same time we hear the clatter of guns being levelled. "French Revolution." Enjolras shouted "Fire!" A flash turns all the facades of the street bright crimson as though the door of a furnace has suddenly open and shut. A dreadful explosion bursts over the barricade. Bullets ricochet off the cornices of the houses, bore into the barricade and wound several men. My heart is in my throat, thumping away in my chest! Gripping my gun tightly I stood by my fellow men.

Enjolras shouted as students return fire "Comrades, do not fire back! Do not waste powder!" In the darkness, the clang of ramrods in muskets - the troop reloading weapons. All at once the first full attack begins. Shouts and the rattle of gunfire as soldiers throw themselves up and over the barricade. The students run for their guns and return fire. They are taken by surprise. All could be lost in the first instant. Some soldiers make it up to the top of the barricade, where they're driven back by the fierce resistance of the defenders. Eponine sees one soldier aiming his rifle at Marius - she throws herself in front of Marius just as the rifle fires - and Marius is safe.

We are being overrun. Panic ensues. The gun battle is fierce. Marius in a flash of inspiration realises all is lost unless they do something. He drags a barrel of gunpowder to the top of the barricade, grabs the torch and with a face of deadly resolve he tips the torch towards the barrel. "Clear out or I'll blow up the barricade!" Everyone freezes. The Officer said "Blow it up then and take yourself with it!" and Marius said unflinching "And myself with it!" Silence had fallen across the barricade and time froze. Marius, don't be a fool I thought, squeezing my eyes shut. Marius brings the torch closer to the powder keg…"RETREAT!" One of the soldiers shouted. But already the soldiers have cleared out Enjolras took the torch off Marius and Marius came down from the barricade. Feuilly said "Thank you!" but Lesgles shouted "Marius! What were you thinking!" As everyone surrounds Marius in amazement he spots Eponine lying propped against the barricade. "Eponine! What have you done?" He kneels by her side. Eponine is dying.

"Here... It's from Cosette...I kept it from you..." With a struggle she pulls the letter out of her pocket, and pushes it into his hand. "Don't be too hard on me..." she said Marius is shocked to find blood pouring from her wound. "Eponine, you're hurt! You need some help!" Rain begins to fall. "Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius -I don't feel any pain. A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me now. You're here - that's all I need to know and you will keep me safe and you will keep me close and rain will make the flowers grow..." Marius interrupted "But you will live, Eponine – Dear God above! If I could close your wounds with words of love" she smiled "Just hold me now, and let it be. Shelter me... Comfort me..." he smiled back, Marius tries to comfort Eponine in his arms. "Hush-a-bye, dear Eponine You won't feel any pain A little fall of rain Can hardly hurt you now I'm here." that's all I need to know, So don't you fret, M'sieur Marius I don't feel any pain A little fall of rain Can hardly hurt me now..." "I will stay with you till you are sleeping." "That's all I need to know, and you will keep me safe and you will keep me close And rain. Will make the flowers..." "Grow..." Eponine dies in Marius's arms. Marius looks up at the others, his eyes full of tears. Sadness for our fallen men sent tears into my heart, at least Enjolras was safe. I wiped tears from my face, I honestly liked that girl, my little ray of sunshine in this revolutionary, little ponine.

Enjolras placed his hand on his shoulder "They were the first to fall. The first to fall upon this barricade." Marius shook his head "Her name was Eponine! Her life was cold and dark, yet she was unafraid!" Combeferre put his hand on his other shoulder "We fight here in her name..." I kneeled down beside him "She will not die in vain..." Lesgles joined me "She will not be betrayed..." Enjolras nods to Prouvaire and lesgles and they pick up the body and take her into the tavern. I over-heard Courfeyrac say to Gavroche "Are you alright?" and the boy said tears on his dirty little face "That was my sister." Poor little tyke, poor little Gavroche;

_Glimpses through the barricade of a lone figure approaching from the far end of the narrow street; the figure comes into lamp light. It's Val jean, in the soldier's jacket. The student sentries level their guns. Gavroche jumps up._

The man shouted "Don't shoot!" and Joly shouted down "Here comes a man in uniform! What brings you to this place?" he replied "I come here as a volunteer." Joly shouted "Approach and show your face!" he walked over closer to us, Prouvaire said "You wear an army uniform." Glaring the man said "That's why they let me through." _The student sentries open the slot in the barricade to let Val jean enter. _Joly said "You've got some years behind you, sir." Not kindly he said "There's much that I can do." Taking the man to the tavern door he said "You see that prisoner over there?" He points to Javert, in a dark corner, his hands tied. I shouted "a volunteer like you!" into his face, and Combeferre said "A spy who calls himself Javert!" I said "he's going to get it too!" Javert looks up and meets the spy's eyes. A steady shared look. The boy Gavroche said "Don't shoot! I know's him! He's no soldier!"

_Suddenly Val jean spots a couple of snipers creeping over the roofs to gain an angle of attack on them. They are aiming at Enjolras. "Enemy snipers on the roof!" he shouts "on the roof!" Swiftly Val jean grabs a gun and shoots up at them sending them scattering. Quickly other students join in and the snipers are driven back. There is a burst of gunfire from both ends of the street as a brief fire fight ensues. The snipers have disappeared. Enjolras turns to Val jean. _

Enjolras said "For your presence of mind, for the deed you have done, I will thank you, M'sieur, When our battle is won." Marius said "Thank you, M'sieur." He said "Give me no thanks, M'sieur. There's something you can do." Enjolras had replied "If it is in my power." And the man said "Give me the spy Javert! Let me take care of him." nodding Enjolras said "Do what you have to do - The man belongs to you" he turned back to us. After a while we heard the distinct sound of gun fire, then silence. A moment later the man 'Val Jean' returned. Tiredly Enjolras said "The enemy may be regrouping! Hold yourselves in readiness! Come, my friends, back to your positions!" and I followed him over to the barricade, taking my place beside Joly and Courfeyrac.

Enjolras said "Courfeyrac, you take the watch - They may attack before its light." To us all he said "Everybody keep the faith, for certain as our banner flies, we are not alone - The people too must rise!" Marius is manically working to raise the height of one of the smaller barricades. Enjolras claps him on the shoulder "Marius, rest." And I am jealous again. To bring Enjolras attention to me I begin to sing, al-be-it a little drunkenly, a drinking song and it is taken up more seriously by Feuilly. "Drink with me to days gone by!" Bottles are passed round "to the life!" Feuilly joined in "to the life!" Gavroche sang, in a light tenner over us "that used," "that used," "to be!" "To be!" "At the shrine of friendship, never say die... Let the wine of friendship never run dry! Here's to you," the raised their glasses at me "And here's to me!" I tried to smile at Enjolras. He shook his head.

I looked down at Marius as he said more to himself "Do I care if I should die, Now she goes across the sea? Life without Cosette means nothing at all… Please don't weep, Cosette, Should Marius fall. Will you weep, Cosette, for me?" and in hearing his sorrow it gave me courage to try and let Enjolras know that I would die for him.

I followed Enjolras's retreating form up the stairs, "Enjolras! Wait!" I shouted up to him, "go away, I have no patients for you now," he turned to me, "but!" he fluttered his hand at me, shooing me away "Enjolras!" I protested, wiping his hand across his face in a weary way he continued up the stairs "what is it, that so important it cannot wait?" he went into the bedroom, the only bed still in the Café. "I just wanted to say, you're doing okay, the people will rise for you, don't fret old boy it won't be long," he frowned "is that it?" god he was such an arse, heart thumping I said "y-yes," I twiddled my hands behind my back, "just get out!" he glared, "fine!" I shouted turning my back "shouldn't have bothered to help you!" I muttered to myself loudly, "exactly what are you doing here anyway?" he shouted at my back, I stopped in my tracks "you're just a snobby little rich boy, never having to worry about anything because daddy will sort it all out!" I whipped round, "now that's not fair!" I pointed my finger at him, "all you seem to do is try to put me down when I wanted to help you!" I shouted, "every time you put me down I tell myself it doesn't hurt, all the words you throw at me, but it does! Admit it! You've never wanted me around!" I yelled at him, taking a step forward and jabbed my finger into his chest.

"Fine, if that's what you want, yes, I don't want you around, you're the most stupid, unreliable, whiney little boy, and all you do is drink, drink, drink! Does the revolution mean's anything to you at all? You don't believe in anything!" I recoiled my heart breaking into a million pieces, I gripped at my chest, tears threatening to break out, "that's not true," I said taking a step back, he stepped forward "you try to be like us, but you're not! I mean why, why would you be here, why pretend?" my body shook with anger and pain, I straitened myself up and said, unusually quietly but with more passion I had ever used "you know nothing about me! I stay here for you! I do all this for you! I even drink because of you!" I pushed him, he staggered backwards, "I put up with the name calling, and the mick taking to be around you, I drink to stop the pain I feel every time you say something to degrade me, I drink to block everything out! Because you hurt me more than you know!" I thumped his chest, leaving my hands on his chest, allowing myself this contact, because even though he hurts me, I still love him. Pathetic little Grantaire! "Grantaire," he said hopelessly holding out his hands in an 'I don't know what to do' expression, I turned away, he took a step forward "Grantaire…?" he started "I'm sorry," he said I barked out a laugh humourlessly "you're sorry?" my back still away from him he grabbed my shoulder, turning me around to face him, "I didn't know…you felt anything like that…" he said the warmth of his hand seeped through my shirt, I looked up at him, doe eyed, feeling stupid and small. He bit his lip and I trembled, "I've been mean," he stated and I didn't bother to comment. "Why stay?" he asked again, softer. His sudden wave of kindness hit me, making me very angry, so suddenly.

My heart thrummed in my chest, as I lost control "I stay because I love you! Goddam it!" I yelled into his face, tears springing forth from my eyes. He gaped down at me; then all was silent except from my ragged breath, as I looked up into Enjolras face. Then I felt the blood drained from my face as I realised what I had just done. His eyes were liquid, soft, and his lips parted, then he pounced, tangling his hands into my frizzy hair, I managed a "what are you…?" before he said "just shut it for once, Grantaire." bringing his mouth down onto mine.

**Enjolras: **oh, it all made sense now! The doe eyed looks, the way he went out of his way to irritate me, it all added up to this: he loved me. And I had been terrible to him, not taking him seriously, as he tried again and again to impress me, to get me to see him. God! I am stupid! I felt my lips part, in shock and in a sudden desire to…Grantaire! What are you doing to me? Don't you realise! I only want you here to satisfy my need for you? I thought I was the only one who cared…I pounced at him, to tangle my fingers in his dark hair; he stepped backwards and said "what are you…?" his soft lips yielding to me…

**Grantaire:** I gasped into his mouth, his hot, warm breath invading mine. My eyes closed involuntary, my heart had stopped only to beat wildly in the next instant, his lips were what I'd imagined them to be, soft, sensuous, as he deepened the kiss, his tongue flickered against the top of my lip, I shivered, opening my mouth to let it in-his tongue soft and inviting. I moaned. I tangled one of my hands in his hair, the other I used to pull myself in closer, resting on the small of his back. He growled in my mouth, loosing self-control he backed us up, the wall cool against my back. I was slightly smaller so he had to bend his head as he kissed my jaw, opening my shirt to kiss up and down my neck. My head tilted back in pure ecstasy, my hand moving down to his shoulder. My breath came in ragged, heart beating erratically inside my chest. He ran his hands down my body to my thighs and lifted me up. I groaned. He pulled back, and looked into my face, "blue, I didn't know your eyes were blue," he stroked my face, and I quivered, "ah, that look again, why do you look at me like that?" he grinned, "w-what look?" I croaked knees shaking, "doe like," was all he said before he kissed me again, oh, oh my Apollo, "you know, you're the first person I've ever kissed?" he smiled, "and you, I," I replied before placing a soft kiss onto his lips, "well, cept for the old woman, I needed the chair," I giggled at the memory, and he beamed at me "you kissed a woman for a chair?" he laughed which startled the both of us, "oh, Grantaire what are you doing to me?" before I replied he kissed me roughly again. An unbidden thought came to me then, I had defiled him. Sullied him with my own filthy existence. Did I know a more apt embodiment of sin than myself? That I'd had dared to touch such a divine thing. I pushed against his shoulders, moving my head to the side, he ignored my little protest, kissing my jaw line and my neck, "stop, Enjolras!" I gasped and my self-will slipped, but there it was again, I was pathetic-a wretch, no a snake, crawling along the ground on my belly, not worthy of such feelings towards the Golden God. "Stop!" I pushed more forcefully, and he stilled, staring down at me.

**Enjolras:** what was it? I looked down to his suddenly tear filled, shame filled eyes, "what's wrong?" I asked, "don't!" he said, trying to get out of my embrace, "Grantaire, why are you sad?" I repeated the words from not so long ago, he looked up at me then and burst out "I'm not worthy of your touch, Apollo, I a meagre mortal, please, don't dirty yourself with my flesh." He wailed, thumping ineffectively on my chest, "Grantaire, what are you talking about?" I asked confused, I thought this was what he wanted? "I am not worthy to breathe in your air, I am disgusting," he said, "you are worthy! Grantaire! Of course you are, I-I love you too, Grantaire, please, let me show you that you are worthy, it is I who is not worthy of you, of your pureness and goodness," I said, holding his jaw to make him look at me. "No…" I kissed away the protest, "I love you, Grantaire, and I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner," he relaxed into my arms then. A sigh that sounded like "oh!" came from his divine, plump lips. Grantaire groaned at the contact, lips parting in surprise, I couldn't deny it any more, I needed him like he needed air to breathe, I tangled my hand into his hair, I gave the curls a gentle tug, nails scraping lightly against his scalp, and he let out a feral growl before plunging his tongue past my lips. Grantaire groaned louder he battled with his own desires. Passion and determination overrode inexperience, it seemed to me, for these were surely no schoolboy fumbling's.

My fingers trailed up Grantaire's neck – earning me a sharp intake of breath – and fisted in the inky black mop atop the artist's head, pulling his face closer. Grantaire unwillingly broke the kiss, tilting his head up and gasping desperately for oxygen to clear his hazy mind. "Enjolras," Grantaire breathed as his breath, hitched lust unmistakable in what would otherwise be considered a worshipful tone. Caught by surprise at Grantaire's voice, I pulled back and drank in the sight before me. Hair wild, eyes heavy lidded, lips red and cheeks bright with something other than anger or drink entirely, a mark already blooming on his neck, Grantaire stared back. "Don't leave me," he rasped, "I promise," was all I could say.

**Grantaire:** he loved me! oh all the words of the world could not describe what I felt at this moment, my heart beating erratically, the muscles of my stomach tightening, love and lust were two different feelings, but they were squashed together in an instant. "I promise," he said, kissing me deeply, pulling my body flush with his, rock hard muscles, and I whimpered. He growled. As always a fierce, godlike sound escaping his mouth. I would have been the first to agree that this was not the time – nor the place, up against a café wall – for sweetness or softness, but I couldn't help the reverent way my fingers ghosted over the gold buttons of Enjolras' red waistcoat - that waistcoat I had been itching to rip off of him for months, but now that the time had inexplicably, miraculously come, couldn't bring himself to do it. But that didn't stop him from dropping it to the ground carelessly along with his own.

Cravats were tossed, suspenders slid off strong, lean shoulders, shirts untucked and untied, and torsos explored. The touch of Enjolras' warm, soft hands against my bare skin burned in a glorious way, and I felt unworthy yet overwhelmingly grateful as his calloused fingers drew patterns over the smooth, hard chest beneath us. "We shouldn't-" Enjolras murmured, pulling away a bit. I froze, still as a statue; eyes wide on Enjolras' face, feeling confused and lost as all hope and excitement drained from me with the suddenness of a burst pipe. "Oh," I see, but in catching sight of my heartbroken face, Enjolras rushed to cradle my stubbly jaw in his hand, pressing soft kisses over every bit of my face he could reach. "Oh, no," he said, sounding desperate. "Not like that. I just meant-" He pressed a tantalizing kiss to the corner of my mouth. "Not here," he whispered a breath away from my lips "my room?" he grinned, relief washed through me, oh! Stupid me! Always getting the wrong end of the stick, I grinned back, "yes," I gasped into his mouth, and we scrambled to collect the fallen clothes from the floor of the common area of the café, and Enjolras led the way down the narrow back hallway, with me nearly running behind him in my haste. He slipped into an empty room at the end of the hall. I followed his lead and merely tossed the clothes back to the floor as he closed the door behind us, flutters of nerves filled my stomach.

I stood and marvelled the perfection of his chest, and next to Enjolras, I felt inadequate. Always had, but perhaps never so much as now, standing bare-chested mere inches from each other. Every burn and bruise and scar visible on my skin felt like a reminder of how unworthy I was of being in this position when compared to the smooth, unblemished chest of Enjolras, he appraised me from where he stood, across the plains of my structured chest, "kickboxing," I said, feeling shy. He touched a scar on my shoulder and then kissed it, "what did this to you?" I shook my head "that's a story for another time," not wanting to tell him of my dark past, what started me to drink in the first place, "so it was a who then?" he looked devastated, "my father was a drunk, mother was too frail to keep us both safe," I shrugged, "oh Grantaire," he wrapped his arms around me, kissing me, protecting me. He grazed fingers over the ridges and scars of my chest, leaning down to kiss the worst of them. Enjolras' warm mouth against the thin skin of my torso fed a stronger fire within me, "Do you know how long I've been trying to resist this?" Enjolras asked, pressing a kiss into my neck "Resist you?" my breath hitched "No," I whispered honestly, eyes wide in disbelief, Enjolras smiled "Too long," he murmured against my skin, at a loss for words, I resorted to kissing him back softly, trying to convey every thought and emotion running through my body with each pass of my lips. He pulled me to the bed. I stiffened, "we don't have to, if you're not ready," he said, and I shook my head, "I am," I said into his shoulder. Kissing him, taking control, my tongue stroking the glassy top lip, he moaned into my mouth, a huff of hot air. My toes curl inside my socked feet, shoes discarded amongst the floor.

Even though he was at least older than me by number, I think he definitely showed me he was in control. Completely naked, we surrender to each other, in a heat of tangled bodies and sheets, shivering and panting with desire, Enjolras forgot about his patria and I forgot my drink, we just existed. We collapsed in a heap, moving so my head rested on top of his chest, unable to lose any physical contact, we lay for a while, in the darkness before his said "I understand what you said now, about love, what was it again? 'Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.' You were right; love is blind, because how could we love when we are not meant to be? I think cupids just a bit sadistic, I mean…" I pressed my finger to stop him, weary with fatigue and yawned, shaking from the aftershock of his soft but brutal attack, "ssh!" I mumbled, "safe it for later, I'm tired, let me sleep." And with that I drifted off to sleep in the arms of my Apollo, my god, my world.


	8. Chapter 8 the morning everything changed

BARRICADE - NIGHT

"Grantaire, wake up," a soft hand runs across my face, I yawn and stretch, mumbling unintelligently, "Grantaire!" he said, my eyes fling themselves open, staring up into his godlike face, why wasn't I wearing any clothes? I thought to myself, and then it came back to me in perfect clarity-the feel of his skin on mine, the taste of his mouth, the pain and pleasure of his touch alone, I blushed, "I'm awake," smiling hesitantly, he smiled back down at me, "are we…okay?" I asked butterflies in my stomach at the memory of whispered 'I love you's ' in the dark. "Of course," he said grinning-an odd expression on his usually serious face, he was fully clothed again, shock made me sit up "where are you going," I tried to sound nonchalant, but worry and hurt crept into my voice, "I'm going on a reconnaissance, I have to check who's with us," his eyes smouldering as he ran is eyes over the planes of my chest, I swallowed-of course it was not over yet, we could still die. "I'll be back soon, so get dressed and meet me down stairs," he said his finger trailed lightly in my course black chest hair, I shivered "let me come with you," I asked-no-begged, he shook his head "it will be less conspicuous with just me," I sighed-I'd end up with a complex if this carried on, "okay," I said in defeat. He leaned down to kiss me, a short brush of the lips but I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms round his shoulders, pressing my lips roughly onto his, the view behind my eye lids a dark red, like the passion in my veins. He pulled back, "later, Grantaire, I have to go," his face was flushed, excited. And with that he tore himself up, and out of the door.

DAWN

_Enjolras re-enters the barricade through the secret gate. He has been on a reconnaissance. He looks at the street. No one is stirring, but for a single shutter which opens a crack - a face peeps - and it closes again. Below him the students are up and getting ready._

My heart fluttered inside my chest at his reappearance, his face was grave. "The people have not stirred." He said to Courfeyrac, "Yet we will not abandon those who still live in fear." Courfeyrac said, Enjolras replied "The people have not heard, yet we will not abandon those who cannot hear. Let us not waste lives! Let all who wish to go from here!" There is silence. Uncertainty. And yet no one moves to go. I wouldn't leave Enjolras not after last night, I was sure there wasn't a thing that could break our bond. I stood next to him, giving a little nod. Gavroche (from top of barricade) starts to sing "Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men, it is the music of the people who will not be slaves again!" we joined in, growing more certain by the minuet. "When the beating of your heart, Echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start, when tomorrow comes!"

Feuilly took Enjolras aside with myself and Marius following "Enjolras! Ammunition's short." He said Marius looked at Enjolras "I will go into the streets. There are bodies all around. Ammunition to be had; Lots of bullets to be found." He said Enjolras shook his head "I can't let you go."

Val Jean said "Let me go! He's no more than a boy. I am old. I have nothing to fear." But Gavroche was already climbing the barricade under cover of the smoke. He shouted "I volunteer!" we stare up shocked and Courfeyrac shouted "Come back, Gavroche! Don't you dare!" Joly looked around "someone pull him down right now!" Gavroche turned looking down at us "Look at me, I'm almost there!" then turned, carrying on down the barricade "Little people know, When little people fight, we may look easy pickings, But we've got some bite! So never kick a dog because he's just a pup-" they fired a warning shot to get him back up "We'll fight like twenty armies, and we won't give up!" The rays of the rising sun break through, lighting up Gavroche, "So you'd better run for cover, when the pup grows-" Crack! A musket shot. Gavroche falls down dead onto the street, Courfeyrac shrieked "No-o!" and with our back up, retrieves the little hero. He seizes Gavroche's body in his arms, convulsed with grief, and brings it back through the gate in the barricade. It was all happening so fast, I couldn't wrap my head around it.

_At the other end of the street Javert has appeared. He sees this gate and talks to the Army Officer. As the smoke from the muskets clears horses are revealed drawing field artillery into position. The Army Officer is lining up the big guns carefully._

He shouted up: "You at the barricades listen to this! The people of Paris sleep in their beds! You have no chance, No chance at all! Why throw your lives away?" Enjolras gazes on his pitifully small group. "Let us die facing our foes! Make them bleed while we can!" I nod, Combeferre supporting Courfeyrac said "Make'em pay through the nose!" Courfeyrac fire in his eyes "Make'em pay for every man!" I shivered and took a step towards Enjolras. He said "Let others rise to take our place, until the earth is free!"

_The sun now appears above the rooftops of the city. And the big guns fire - BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The bombardment hits the barricade, rocking it. In its wake a massive barrage of musket fire; the big gun has been lined up with the gate and has burst right through in the first hit. Bullets fly, and every few moments another cannon ball smashes into the piled debris. Javert is glimpsed among the attackers._

My heart is in my chest and I am afraid. Enjolras and the students themselves onto the barricades, firing at the attackers, handing their rifles down to others to be re-loaded, firing again. Valjean and I move among them, tending to the wounded, lifting down the dead, regardless of our own safety. Marius takes a bullet, and crumples and falls. Val jean runs towards him –good he'll be safe, I have to say that man-Val Jean, was a brave man. CRASH! The latest cannonade bursts a hole in the barricade and now the soldiers are storming through. The hard core of student fighters retreat, firing as they go, into the Café Musain (among them Enjolras, Courfeyrac, Joly and Combeferre.)

Students and soldiers fight in the café, on the stairs, up the stairs to the upper room. Students driving back the pursuing soldiers hack away at the staircase, smashing it to fragments - the soldiers below fire up at them - students fall, their bodies caught on the jagged remnants of the stairs. I held Prouvaire in my arms, blood pooling out of his chest, as he cried out for his mother, "it's okay, it's going to be okay," there was no way of helping or easing his pain, and I held him as he died.

The students' ammunition has run out, they're hurling sticks and bottles - but the soldiers have found a way to clamber up, shooting as they come, and one by one the students are falling. Pointing their guns towards the stairs I shouted a protest as they shot, "NO!" I jumped up, Prouvaire's body falling off my lap onto the floor, they ignored me and continued their attack up the stairs. 'Enjolras! he's okay! He'll be okay' I follow them up the stairs; the soldiers break through at last to the upper room, to find there's only Enjolras still alive. He stands by the window, knowing he will die now, proud and unafraid. Seeing him the soldiers hesitate. I reach the back of the soldiers and sigh of relief seeing Enjolras unharmed, but gasp at the dead bodies of Courfeyrac, Joly and Combeferre. Then a sergeant cried, "Take aim!" An officer interfered. "Wait." And addressing Enjolras, he said "Do you wish your eyes bandaged?" he glared at the officer "No." he spat out "Was it really you who killed the sergeant of artillery?" the officer asked "Yes." He replied.

Relegated as I was in the corner and as though sheltered behind the billiard table, the soldiers, their eyes fixed upon Enjolras, had not even noticed me, and the sergeant was preparing the repeat the order: "Take aim!"_ when suddenly they heard a powerful voice cry out beside them,_ "this was when Shakespeare's words 'Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough.' Made total sense to me, before I could change my mind I shouted out "Vive la République! Count me in."

_The immense glare of the whole combat he had missed and in which he had not been, appeared in the flashing eye of the transfigured drunkard._

The officer grabbed my arm "do you know what you are doing?" he asked, I smiled at him "yes," and I repeated, "Vive la République!" and crossed the room firmly, and took my place in front of the muskets beside Enjolras. "Two at one shot," I said. And, turning toward Enjolras gently, I said to him, staring into his eyes "Will you permit it?" giving me a look of pure undiluted love he clasped my hand with a smile. Enjolras smiles, and raises his now-ragged red flag. "Long live the republic!" We shout, the smile was not finished before the report was heard. The rifles blaze.

_Enjolras falls backwards out of the window, until he hangs upside down, the red flag still in his hands, streaming like blood down the wall._

I am filled with immense pain, 'not enough' I thought, I have a wound in my shoulder and two embedded in my stomach, I am forced into the wall, spraying it with my blood before I slide to the ground. The officer rushed over, and turned to his soldiers "I said through the head! He's not dead!" all I could think about was the pain in this moment. He kneeled down, pressing his hands onto my wounds "why did you come over here to die? Why throw your life away?" I smiled and replied "love," he looked confusedly at me I tried to lift myself up, turning my head to see Enjolras hanging out the window, "is he dead?" I ask as the officer pushed me down to the floor, "yes," he replied, I relaxed "good," I grit my teeth to ride a wave of pain, a tear escaped my eyes, I try to get to him, the officer noticed and said to one of the soldiers "bring the body over here," before turning his gaze on me, "thank you," I rasped, his body is lowered next to mine, I stare into his face, his eyes are closed, a trace of a smile on his soft lips, his face the very scene of serenity, my beautiful fallen angel. My Apollo. He looks like he's just sleeping and I reach out to stroke his face. It won't be long now, I told myself; "you got to die for your republic," I said to his smiling form. I could feel myself ebbing away with the spiral of blood collecting on the ground. My body spasms as pain shoots through me once again like lightning, and I relax into the arms of the officer, all is silent as the soldiers stand vidual over me, I look in front of me to see them all there: Courfeyrac with Gavroche under his arm, Ebony, Joly, Combeferre on one side, Feuilly, Prouvaire and a few of the others, smiling down at me, "oh!" I gasped and they parted revealing Enjolras, he gave me that grin, and stretched his hand out towards me, I copied and our fingertips nearly met, "I'm ready," I told him, "I'm coming" the others laughed and Joly said "good old Grantaire, late as usual," and I felt no more pain, then in a few moments I breathed my last breath and joined my fellow men in glory and freedom.

_The street littered with corpses, and the remains of the barricade, and soldiers scouring the rubble for any last pockets of resistance. Javert, grimly surveying the victory of law over rebellion; he studies the line bodies (laid out side by side, Enjolras and Grantaire) and after leaning over the body of Gavroche he pins his badge of courage. _

STREET OUTSIDE CAFÉ MUSAIN

The next day the cries of families and friends echoed over the barricade. Soldiers are dismantling the last of the barricade. Women move about the street, seeking their dead loved ones among the bodies that still litter the barricade. These are both the middle-class mothers of the students - Enjolras's mother, Grantaire's sister - and the working women of the slums for whom they died, united now in their grief.

You could hear the women chattering to each other in their grief. "Did you see them going off to fight?" _"Children of the barricade, who didn't last the night."_ "Did you see them, Lying where they died? Someone used to cradle them and kiss them when they cried." "_Did you see them lying side by side?"_ "Who will wake them?" _"No one ever will."_ "No one ever told them that a summer day can kill." _"They were schoolboys, never held a gun, fighting for a new world that would rise up like the sun."_ "Where's that new world now the fighting's done?" _"Nothing changes, nothing ever will," _"every year another brat, another mouth to fill," _"same old story, what's the use of tears?"_ "What's the use of praying if there's no one here who hears?"

The women move off to go about their day's business.


	9. Chapter 9 Maruis's Epilogue

CAFÉ MUSAIN

Marius makes his way slowly up the stairs to the upper room. He's still weak from his wounds. He enters the room where his friends died, and looks round. He sinks into a chair.

"There's a grief that can't be spoken,

There's a pain goes on and on,

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now my friends are dead and gone."

He sees the bloodstain on the wall beneath the window sill. The blood of Enjolras.

"Here they talked of revolution

Here it was they lit the flame

Here they sang about tomorrow

And tomorrow never came...

From the table in the corner

They could see a world reborn

And they rose with voices ringing

And I can hear them now!

The very words that they had sung

Became their last communion

On the lonely barricade at dawn."

He looks out of the window at what's left of the barricade. He seems to see again the brave doomed defence, the smoke and the gunfire, the young men falling.

"Oh my friends, my friends, forgive me

That I live and you are gone

There's a grief that can't be spoken

There's a pain goes on and on...

Phantom faces at the window

Phantom shadows on the floor

Empty chairs at empty tables

Where my friends will meet no more.

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me

What your sacrifice was for

Empty chairs at empty tables

Where my friends will sing no more.

Slowly he rises from the chair and turns to the doorway. There stands Cosette, waiting for him.


	10. Chapter 11-sleeping angles-drable

CAFE MUSAIN-day before the barricade.

"Be still, wine cask!" said Courfeyrac. Grantaire answered with, "I am Capitoul and Master of Floral Games!" I was standing on the crest of the barricade, musket in hand, shaking my head at this fool, this…this sexy, drunken fool, and after seeing him in that drunken state shouted: "Grantaire! Go sleep it off somewhere else. This is the place for revolution, not drunkenness. Don't dishonour the barricade!" This angry speech produced a singular effect on the wine cask. It was as though he had received a glass of cold water in the face and suddenly he appeared sober. He sat down, leaned on a table near the window, looked at me with an inexpressible gentleness, and said to me, "Let me sleep here." Oh god! His dark eyes peered at me through thick lashes, I hid my trembling hand.

"Go sleep somewhere else," I snapped, swallowing down the need to…. but Grantaire, keeping those tender, troubled eyes fixed on myself answered, "Let me sleep here - until I die here." I gave him my most disdainful look and said "Grantaire, you're incapable of belief, of thought, of will, of life, and of death." but he had replied gravely, "You'll see." and after stammering out a few more unintelligible words, his head fell heavily on the table, and, a common effect of the second stage of inebriety into which he had put himself in, a moment later he was asleep, snoring softly. Sighing I put down my musket, Jolly was laughing at Grantaire, giving him a vicious poke in the back, Grantaire just swatted the air ineffectively, mumbling something at him in his slumber, arm curled round the bottle. "Naw, look at the little wine cask! Ha! What a pretty specimen in his sleep! Quick! Someone should put a handkerchief over his face so as not to frighten away the ladies," I glared at Feuilly and his laugh caught in his throat, I turned the glare to the others, and then returned to my work for a while, concentrating hard on the maps, when they started to mutter again. "Capital R?" they gave a muted chuckle, "what's he saying?" said Combeferre, "can't hear," said Courfeyrac, then Grantaire mumbled something "Aplo," it sounded like, what was that….Apple? then Feuilly giggled "I think he's dreaming about you Enjolras," I turned to see them gathered around the table, chortling at the drunkard, "leave him be," I warned, he shrugged at me and went back to his observation.

I did not understand why they called him ugly, he just wasn't, to me he was like a dark angel, thick curls, an aristocrat air about him, pale white skin, black stubble cropped at the chin, his face in perfect symmetry, his plump lips…I've always wanted to see the exact colour of his eyes but I was freighted to get too close for fear of…yeah. He was slim, his hands wide-a piano payers hands, but I'd yet to see him play- those long legs…stop! Stop fanaticising! "…look at that nose! God you could hang your coat off it!" they snickered, "he's too pale, that's the problem, a girl won't be interested if you had less colour than a piece of paper," a barked laugh, "yeah, hey, you know what?" said Combeferre "what?" I could hear the grin as he said "you know, maybe he's like ... a Vampire," he paused for effect, "get real!" Feuilly shouted, I snorted "oh, har-har," someone said "he could be!" he protested, then they all went quiet at the sound of a muffled keening, I turned round, they stared down at Grantaire, the red flush had gone from his face, it looked a little waxy, like a sheen of sweat covered his forehead, his fists were opening and closing in his now fitful sleep, the look on his face was one that was of undiluted fear, he moaned and the bottle fell to the floor, his hands clutched at the air in front of him now, he shivered, saying a soft "no!" fear laced with pain in his velvet voice, "please!" he begged to an invisible being, "should someone wake him?" said Courfeyrac "bad idea, my ma said you could die being woken from a nightmare," said Prouvaire "that's sleep walking idiot!" Courfeyrac said.

Not taking my eyes off Grantaire I walked over, I said, "I'm going to try and wake him…Grantaire? Wake up, Grantaire?" I shook his shoulder, nothing, no response except for that his hand gripped onto my wrist, with surprising strength, I kneeled down, "Grantaire!?" I said again, annoyance creeping into my voice, my hand on his shoulder, a strange garbled sound came out of his throat and it made all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up, although I didn't know why. He gripped tighter onto my arm, his breathing coming in rapid recession; I decided to take him into my room, away from prying eyes of the rest of the ABC group, I pulled him into a seating position first and when he did not stir I lifted him into my arms, he wasn't really that heavy, too light for comfort, was he eating properly? I swallowed; don't think of…yeah, gritting my teeth, even now I felt it, stirring in my veins. Ignoring the comments of the group, I took him up the stairs and into my room.

His thin body shook, his hands tight on my lapels, oh wine cask! What am I to do? All the drinking was…it did things to me, unusual feelings inside me; I didn't like seeing him in that state. This was the fourth time now I have had to take him to my room, it's getting worse, he gets himself in such a state that I cannot walk him home. I placed him onto the bed, and prized off his fingers, wrinkling my shirt. His hands two clenched fists, his face screwed up, he was really scared, but until I could wake him, there was nothing I could do. I took off his shoes, and on a whim, his socks too. He has perfectly sculpted feet, I observe, and I place them under the sheets, he mumbles something, I don't hear it. I pull him into a sitting position, then proceed to unbutton his grey waistcoat. I pull it off him, his body is floppy and it is difficult, when I am getting the other side of his waistcoat off him, he shivered, and I distinctively hear, "no…father, please," and the tone of his voice chills me to the bones and ice encases my chest.

I place him down onto the bed, what is he dreaming about? Why is he so scared? Rolling over he gives out a garbled moan. I place his waistcoat on the end of the bed and pull up a chair. Morbid curiosity had me watching the slumbering man. After a while he relaxed and a light blush worked its way up his pale face-he had rolled over so that he faced me. His thick curls stuck up everywhere as usual, I had to admit I liked watching him sleep, his face was washed of all expression, and he looked…how do I put it? Vulnerable? His eyelashes rested on his face, his lips parted, I shook with unwelcome desire. I wanted to kiss those lips, to feel his skin give under my hands, to…think of patria, think of patria, think of patria! I swallowed hard; why do I have these feelings? I remember the first time I saw him, I was trying to get Marius to join the Amis again, and he isn't really listening, he looks about the room, after spotting someone he knew his face lit up,_"Grantaire! Come join us," he had shouted over the crowd. "The revolution needs you Marius!" _I had said when a little voice said_ "begging your pardon," _I turned my head and glared_ "what now?!" _but I was rendered speechless from the beauty in front of me: black unruly curls, big dark eyes, his face structure that of an aristocrat, he fidgeted and licked his lower lip…what it did to me then.

"_This is my friend, Grantaire, the one I was telling you about," _Marius had said,_ "Grantaire, this is Enjolras," _he put his hand out for a hand shake, but I looked distantly at the man, who was he to make me feel like this? When the revolution was the most important thing in my life, and at that moment, it had angered me to feel this way about another man, I was not attracted to men, I liked women didn't I? _"Anyway," _he said lowering his hand_ "its capital R, by the way, Grantaire's just so…it was my grandfather's name..." _he had trailed off at the new look I had given him,_ "Am I missing something?" _he replied, having I light bulb moment I said_ "humm, you would say," _and turned to Marius, this was the man Marius mentioned, the passion filled man that could help with our revolutionary? _"…your right, Marius, he does have a certain charm, if that's to scare off all the ladies with the stench of wine," _I laughed knowing I was being cruel, he flinched and Feuilly flung an arm around him, jealousy ripped through me and I had to clench my hands to my sides, I wanted to touch him not you!_ "ah, he's not so bad, say do you know any good jokes?" _he asked he had stuttered helplessly and I said out of anger and jealousy _"he can barely speak, what good could we use him for if he can't do the simple things?" _muttering to Marius, then his eyes narrowed at me, _"shall I blacken your boots then? If I am good for nothing else?" _that's when he was accepted into the group. And here we were now, me coming to terms with these unusual feelings and him, passed out drunk.

I unconsciously was running my hand through his hair and he made a noise deep in his throat, a sexy sound and I froze. Grantaire what are you doing to me? I licked my lips, removing my hand, shaking all over from trying too hard to not touch him again. Then he made sure that the moment was shattered when he shot up and gagged and I barely had time to thrust the bedpan under his chin as he unceremoniously threw up. It was mainly just wine and stomach acid. I supported his limp body and rubbed his back, until the retching stopped, oh Grantaire! I placed the pan to the side and lowered him down, taking out a handkerchief, and wiping his face. I stayed with him through the night, often thrusting the bedpan at him, as he purged the wine out of his system and I finally fell asleep in the chair, head resting on the bed. When I woke up, I was aware it was just getting light out. Secondly I became aware of a hand tangled in my hair, and that Grantaire's body was angled towards me. I took his hand out of my hair, and without thinking, held it to my face, warm against cold. Hard against soft, I felt the hard rough callouses on the palms of his hands, and I kissed the palm, then proceeded to drop it like I had been burned, what was I thinking? I shot up and bounded down the stairs. 'Think of patria, think of patria, think of patria!' continuing my mantra all the while.

I was an idiot! A stupid idiot! What was I thinking?! That we could be together? Live happily ever after in this economy? I had seen what happened to people in this…predicament and it wasn't something I would like to go through, or put R through for that matter. Come to think of it, I would kill anyone who would dare to try to hurt my Grantaire. Wait what?! MY Grantaire!? Where had this come from? I am in some deep water here; god help me!


End file.
